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Do you remember crossing your legs? (A fish oil tablet story)

I’ve been in Granada, Cenes de la Vega, for the past four days. I’ve signed a contract that says I will be an Au Pair for some time. My contract states that the family consists of four members including two adults and two boys aged of three and six. I’ve only ever had two sisters aged of different years, and I’ve always had an age that fits between theirs. I don’t remember too much about being three, but I do remember something about being six.

My younger sister didn’t like eating her fish oil tablets. Mum would give us cod liver oil and fish oil tablets and vitamin C. I didn’t think she was trying to make us sick, but maybe that’s what part of me thought. Anyway, the fish oils weren’t great, and when you had them you burped them up all day. After we swallowed the fish oil capsules Mum would follow it up with a teaspoon of cod liver oil, because when Mum wanted a laugh, she wanted a big one. So we endured it, and Mum laughed, and my sister didn’t like it.

I remember one morning, my sister grabbed my arm and pulled me into our hallway, and we sat down on the carpet cross-legged. She pulled out a bottle of fish oil tablets she had taken from Mum’s medicine cabinet, popped off the lid and poured out a handful of golden capsules on the floor between us.

She picked one up and then proceeded to stick it up her nostril. Then she picked up another one and stuffed it up the same nostril, and she did this until she couldn’t fit anymore. When she filled up her right nostril, she began pushing more up the other side. I counted eight. Four in each nostril, and then she handed them to me to push them up my nose too, but I didn’t want to, so she took them back and tried to push more up. Nine. Ten. Then one of the capsules burst and she sneezed all of the capsules out, and she laughed, and she must have sucked one back up into her throat because she started to cough. When she finished coughing she had oil dribbling out of her nose and mouth and it even looked like it was coming from her eyes.

I started to laugh then, and we were both really enjoying it, so I picked up some of the capsules and put them up my nose as well. We kept doing this until there was no more in the bottle, and on the carpet was fish oil and tears and spit. It had been a pretty good idea to get rid of the fish oil tablets.

I forget what happened exactly after that, but I know Mum was pretty pissed, because the next day at vitamin time she doubled our dose. Two fish oil tablets and two spoons of cod liver oil. All I could do was look at my sister as we swallowed the fish liquid, and Mum laughed a big laugh, and my sister really didn’t like it.

So that’s what I remember about being six, and I hope there are no fish oil tablets in this house.


  1. Horrific

  2. Poor baby!!!

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